Plunked

By now you've probably heard at least something about how White Sox closer Bobby Jenks got a little frustrated with Rangers pitcher Kevin Millwood hitting Chris Getz and Carlos Quentin with pitches, and how Jenks intentionally threw behind Rangers second baseman Ian Kinsler to send a message to the Rangers to stop hitting his teammates. Jenks was fined a paltry $750, or three car payments, by my standards.

On Tuesday night, just a few days after all of that happened, both benches were warned during the Cardinals-Pirates game after Pirates pitcher Zach Duke hit Yadier Molina in the top of the fourth and Todd Wellemeyer threw behind Freddy Sanchez in the bottom of the same inning.

All this intentional throwing at (or behind, at the very least) ballplayers got me thinking about the morals and ethics and so-called unwritten rules of baseball, and whether or not it really is okay to go drilling guys in the back if they upset the other team.

I'm not a violent person. I don't think I've ever hit anybody on purpose (but I am a pretty clumsy guy, so it happens by accident every now and then), and the only fights I've ever been in were a few half-hearted scraps in elementary school in the far corner of the playground, in which the combatants were more concerned with not getting caught fighting than they were inflicting actual physical pain on the other guy. And I'm pretty sure I lost even those, so it's pretty evident fighting is just not my thing.

Despite not being violent, I kinda like the occasional outbreak of violence in baseball. It's the ultimate game of strategy and wills, and getting to see the traditional walls and limits of the game break down into fisticuffs and contusions from 95-mph fastballs to the butt is a bit of a thrill. I know I'm not supposed to like this sort of thing, but I can't help myself. There's nothing quite like seeing ol' Abner's masterpiece occasionally malfunction and descend into chaos while 50 guys dogpile each other trying to land kidney shots. Then, two minutes later, everything is back to normal, and there's a guy in the batter's box just standing there waiting for another guy--a guy he may have just punched in the mouth at the bottom of the pile--to try to throw a breaking ball past him. Strange.

David Halberstam's fabulous book, October 1964, contains one of my favorite baseball stories of all time about one of my favorite players of all time--one whom I desperately wish I could have seen pitch live. To paraphrase, there was a particular player who was really good at hitting off Bob Gibson. Well, one day, Gibson got fed up with the other player's success and drilled him. As the player made the painful trek to first base, Gibson laid into him with insults and, amidst the tirade, explained to the player that he was sick of him getting hits all the time, and that Gibson was going to hit him for a change. I love Gibson's intimidation and his dedication to winning at all costs, and this story made me laugh long and hard when I first read it.

Did the player's success versus Gibson warrant being hit by a pitch? Of course not. But honestly, a lot of times I wish the game of baseball was still like that. If a player today hit a guy on purpose and screamed at him for any extended period of time, he'd get fined, suspended, scrutinized, branded as an unprofessional thug, and whatever else. But in the 60s and 70s, players took care of themselves and took care of business on the field, without the involvement of front offices and committees. While I don't want players bashing each other's heads in the instant one of them does something to warrant it, it's also sometimes suffocating, even as a fan, to endure the game's many overseers and disciplinarians.

Ultimately, that's not gonna change. In fact, I can only imagine that the rules and regulations meant to keep players in check will continue to multiply and be subject to stronger enforcement as we progress. Unfortunately, any time Manny stands and admires a home run, or any time Jonathan Papelbon strikes a guy out and celebrates like he just prevented World War 3 in doing so, the players really shouldn't retaliate, much in the same way I can't punch a guy for wearing a dumb-looking hat. As great as it is to see players take care of business, they shouldn't throw at each other, and they shouldn't charge the mound. The best way to stick it to a blowhard or a braggart is to beat them at their own game...to win.

But I'm not gonna lie--when they forget about that and pick a fight, it really is fun to watch.